C³ — April 11, 2026

What is this, exactly?

It is, objectively, an afternoon devoted to three of civilization's finest achievements, consolidated into a single event.

There will be a magnificent board of artisan cheese and charcuterie, sourced from people who have devoted their professional lives to the careful aging of things. There will be bread. There will be sparkling wine — a great deal of it.

The firepit will be lit as the evening progresses. The conversation may veer into territory we will all agree never happened. This is a judgment-free environment, provided you arrive with a bottle.

Date Saturday, April 11, 2026

Time 2:00 PM — whenever

Location 2852 Biddleford Drive, San Ramon

Dress Code Whatever you were already wearing

The Arrangement

A formal agreement between parties

In the interest of transparency, and to avoid any awkward conversations at the door, the terms are as follows:

We Provide

The Board

A properly curated selection of artisan cheese and charcuterie, assembled by professionals. Bread, from a proper bakery. Additional bites and small plates throughout the evening. Bottles of rather good sparkling wine, already chilled and waiting for you.

You Provide

One Bottle

One (1) bottle of méthode champenoise sparkling wine or champagne. This is the price of admission. We are very serious about this. There is a list. You will be on it, or you will not be inside. Any appellation welcome. We are discerning, not provincial.

The Fine Print

I. Méthode champenoise (traditional method) only. Prosecco is a charming beverage for a different occasion.
II. Guests are encouraged to bring something they are genuinely excited about. This is not the time for the bottle you received at a work function.
III. The firepit is non-negotiable. Dress in layers. Or don't — your comfort is not our liability.
IV. Events of the evening are protected under a mutually understood omertà. What happens at C³ stays at C³.
V. We have the finest sparkling wines in America already covered. Bring something foreign. Yes, it costs more now. So does everything. The global order is unraveling and we might as well drink Champagne while it does — the real kind, from France, where they've been doing this since before democracy was a going concern.

Your hosts for the evening

An introduction is warranted. You will be spending the afternoon with these people. And their cats. Oski will attempt to eat your food. This is not a warning so much as a statement of fact. Habanero will be asleep.